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to serve you

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and jorah does both.

[icon][/icon][nick]Jorah Mormont[/nick][char] [/char][lz]i could iron out the edges of the sky but for some of us it ain't enough[/lz][fandom]a song of ice and fire[/fandom][status]unconditionally[/status]

Robb Stark (2020-05-17 22:25:43)




And besides, whats another bruise?
Whats a bruise? Whats a bruise? Whats a blue moon bruise to do but pull young blood to and fro like the tide?
Whats a bruise but a testament to the sharp art of surrendering to time and place?

well have time for grief.
well have time for grief when my people will be warm and content.
well have time for grief when my sons, my dragons will be safe.
well have time for grief.
just not now.

maybe when shes old. maybe when shes a queen.
she is a queen.
a khaleesi.
maybe when shes old, and the worlds at peace, and shes home. wherever the home is.
home is people. shes been told.
then why is she always surrounded by traitors?
shell grieve. of course, shell grieve. her glorious husband, riding somewhere in the sky now with the stars as his khalasar. her son, the stallion who mounts the world. along with his father. somewhere. somewhere really far away. if daenerys listens hard enough. she would hear. oh, she would. her atomic family, her beautiful brothers, both frightened, both distant. how she could love them. if ever given a chance. her madman of a father, her victim of a mother.
oh. how she would grieve them one day.
but first. first shell avenge them.
first shell take whats hers by right.
im the blood of dragon. daenerys tells herself. and i will bow to no one
its easier being her.
with no one to lose.

- ser jorah,
shes spotting him, jorahs always there somewhere. close enough. never too close.
daenerys has made a point of that.
never too close.
and she finds it pretty odd, gods, its just insane, but in this ancient enormous word, there are still lost cities, and there are still dragons. and there is still life. and absolutely no time. for love, for sympathy, for compassion.
daenerys was a tame, quiet girl.
that girl burnt to ashes along with her sun and stars.
that girl left a long time ago, giving space to drogos queen.
that girls no longer there.
who is she?

nothing tame about her.
she raised from ashes, bared her teeth. she snarled.
mother of monsters. is she any better than them?

- ser jorah, - daenerys nods to a place near her, - take a sit.
shes feeling lonely those days.
shes feeling lost.
and daenerys has no idea where shes going.
but i hope, oh, i hope im coming home.
those people. my people. they follow me. the responsibilitys mine. and the thrones mine to take over.

- ser jorah, - hes no ser, her knight, hes not even a knight.
shell make one of him.
as a queen.
- i never had an opportunity to thank you. for what you did for me back there. i dont remember much.
pain, pain, pain. pain.
blood, blood, blood, bath of blood, drogos blood, his stallions blood, her own blood.
and rhaego didnt scream, gods, he didnt scream. why wasnt he screaming?
the shadows screamed instead.
they are still screaming.
if youre pressing an ear to daenerys stomach.
the shadows screaming. the void calling. only death. theres no life left in her.
rhaegals curling around her left arm, viserions on her shoulder, drogons fast asleep on her laps.
the only life left for her.
monsters life.

daenerys smirks to herself.
i can work with it.
sure thing.
i can.

- i dont remember much, - she repeats, - but i remember you. and if i know something, its that id be dead along with my family. if not for you. thank you.
shes dead at certain point. too far gone. 
gods, its easier this way.
the death is calm. soft almost.
she lulled her boys to sleep. her sun and stars. her baby son.
theres no life left for her.
- some of them think its my fault. ive brought the undefeated khal down. thats why they left. what do you think, ser jorah? be honest with me.
be wise.
i can take anything but another betrayal.
monster girl and her monster babies. it seems like were always coming for blood whether we want it or not.




jorah can tell.
by the absence in her face, by the shadow visiting her violet eyes. they look like the sky before thunderstorm now. and jorah knows, the storm is coming.
she herself is the storm.

she looked humble and fragile when he first met her. but ever since he's known her, power, strength and dignity was all she portrayed.
jorah doesn't have to tilt his head to plunge into the sky. he finds everything in daenerys's eyes.
but all he can do is to watch and adore. he has no place there. on that sky there's only place for the sun and stars of her life.
jorah can tell she's remembering her beloved husband.
there's no place for grief left - she hasn't left any herself.
everything jorah can do for her is to let her sink in memories for a moment. even though it is not a reunion with her khal, not the one she'd wanted.
daenerys is young and harsh on herself. she is hot and reckless, and she's ready to suffer.
jorah's lived longer and he knows that not only magic can raise from the dead. memory can do greater things. remembering too means bringing to life someone who's already been gone.

who would've though a girl her age would go that far? owning nothing, loosing everything she's had and even more. who would've though she'd fight and strive?
(jorah did. he always did)
jorah is old and tired and doesn't know much. he hasn't known much happiness in his life, that's for sure. would it sound naive if he said that everything changed when he pleged to this gitl with eyes of thunderstorm and a heart of dragon?
jorah doesn't know much, and he doesn't know much about love either.
sometimes lynesse visits him in his tumultuous dreams.
she is still young and stunning, just as she was on the first day he saw her. she sits down onto his bed, gently strokes his forehead and combs out tangles in his hair.
she is still young and beautiful, and he? he grew old, his head is now washd with silver. and his hands - covered in blood and dirt.
he did everything for her, things that noone can ever do. he did that - everything for her.
all the things we do for love.
lynesse never talkes. it's always himmumbling, whispering in the emotional heat.
all the things we do for love. did he regret any of them?

will he regret anything he does for daenerys targaryen?

all the things we do for love.

her voice is the jingle-jangle of little silver bells in this empty, deserted city. at some point everything starts to slip away into the darkness. there's nothing around them, noone. at least jorah feels like they're alone. shadows disappershadows of her past, those of his. dothraki disapper, horses, insects disapper.
everything vanished, frightened away by the silver jingle-jangle of her voice. khaleesi's voice.

"there's nothing wrong in not remembering", he finally says. it takes time. to count his own memories, to find the right words.

the only right words that come to him are

i will do everything for you, khaleesi. everything you can't. i'll do for you. everything you can't carry, i'll carry for you. all the steps you can't makei will take you into my arms and i will make these steps for you.

but instead he says:

"there's nothing wrong in not remembering, khaleesi. especially in forgetting troubles. they tend to turn into ghosts and follow you to death. don't let them. forgetting is blessing. try to remember those who matter"

"if not for you", she says. if not for him. what would've happened if not for him? how many people would still have their homes, their lives untouched. how many tears would not be sheded, how much blood would not be spilled.
if not for him.
what would happen to her, if not for him?
khaleesi, targaryen, stormborn, surviver, fighter, mother of dragons.
a woman of thousand names, a woman with unique destiny.
if not for him, then for some other knight.
(though jorah is grateful, that it was himthat it is him)

"you mustn't thank me, khaleesi", jorah says.

her gratitude is bittersweet. it's beautiful, it's frank, it's deep. and nothing he deserved.
daenerys targaryen thanks him.
who is he to not accept her gratitude? he is her loyal servant, that's what he is and he wants to remain.

he needs to thinks everything throughso he's silent before he starts speaking.

"some will always accuse you, and these some will pick the worst sins to accuse you of. you shall not listen"

she shall not listen.
and jorah will coerce them into silence.

"love cannot hurt, love cannot murder. and you do love him, khaleesi. and he loved you. it's fear and jealosy and hollowness and passion that can bring one down. not love. and there was nothing but love between you and drogo, you must know that way better than i do"

it's jealosy and fear and saddness that can hurt.
jorah spits them out, jorah cuts them out.
devotion and loyalty is all he canall he must give her.

[indent] (the things we do for love)
[nick]Jorah Mormont[/nick][status]unconditionally[/status][icon][/icon][fandom]a song of ice and fire[/fandom][char] [/char][lz]i could iron out the edges of the sky but for some of us it ain't enough[/lz]



There isnt a day I dont ask myself, Is this the day
I want to go to that place, the wreckage I call home.

where are you going with it, girl?
im no girl.
not anymore at least.
where are you leading those people. theyre starving and theyre miserable. they are tired.
let them rest.
i will. we will rest. and then we will rise. and then we will mount over the whole world.
shierak qiya, the bleeding star, was for me.
the bleeding star was me.

daenerys is doing her best. and its an upgrade from doing nothing, it seems.
daenerys pays attention.
- so you say this is a blessing? me, not remembering things.
me, doing one of the biggest mistakes in my life.
you always trust the wrong people.
you always make the wrong choices. for all the right reason.

daenerys shakes her head slowly.
if my choices were wrong, if i was wrong, we wouldnt come this far.
and she still finds it kind of funny, she still finds it kind of sad.
westeros is full of those enormous buildings, viserys told her plenty about them. their roofs piercing the sky. tall monsters made of iron and glass.
and here she is. sitting in the middle of a long lost city, abandoned by all the gods.
not by her. not by daenerys.
queen of the lost city.
queen of desolation.
khaleesi vosi, queen of nothing.
where are you going from here?
forward, it seems. always forward.

so she marched from her sun and stars pyre.
and never looked back.
only in her dreams, daenerys still sees those flames. drogo is not there. drogo is not coming to her. and she has this terrible feeling, choking her to death in her dream.
he hasnt forgiven her. why should he, really?
she took his life. and she lost his soul. and she remembers, oh, she remembers his life slipping through her clumsy fingers. going all the way to the dothraki sea.
- we need to remember those things, ser jorah, i believe we need to remember those. in order not to fall into the same trap.
she never smiled again.
- then again. the stakes are higher now. ill pay attention.
she remembers the witch crying as the fire licked off her flesh to the bones. erasing whatever evil she portrayed.
daenerys was silent.

she chuckles softly, you mustnt thank me, - ser jorah, the queen will do as she pleases. so deal with my gratitude. its just words for now. i dont have much to offer anyway.
she closes her eyes for a moment, viserys once told her that a good captain is never asleep. he changed it to a good king is never asleep after she said she wanted to be a pirate. he twisted her hair until she couldnt even weep.
viserys was never cruel. this was not viserys. viserys was lost. along with their glory, their jewels, whatever glimpses of memories they have left.

daenerys listens, and pays attention.
- if i dont listen to them, whom should i listen to? she shrugs, now facing him, ser jorah seemed so old to her, she never quite managed to wrap her mind around it. it was always viserys. it was always the young and bitter viserys. and now shes older than viserys. and somehow. somehow shes older than ser jorah, - a good queen, i believe, shouldnt stay numb to her peoples words. even if they hurt. 

jorah talks about love in the way only those who knew love could talk. jorah talks about love in the way they write about in books.
daenerys set herself on fire one more time. with feeling.
shes getting used to it by now.
he says drogo as if. as if.

drogo cutthroat, drogo killshot, drogo bloodbath, drogo point-blank range.
and gods, all the seven or the great stallion. she doesnt care.
how he smiled at her sometimes.
sometimes she wished she didn't remember the way he smiled at her.
it felt like she never knew warmth before him.
she sets herself on fire.
drogo, her sun and stars.
she cant breathe, cant think, fuck, she cant.

- love. love is not enough, ser jorah. love is never enough, ser jorah. love kills.
daenerys takes a deep breath in.
breath out.
- viserys once told me: you just cant help it, you fall in love with everyone whos mildly nice to you. he added a few obscene remarks about the size of his dick, though. it was his rage speaking. but drogo. drogo wasnt nice. drogo was honest. drogo was nothing but himself.
daenerys lifts her chin.
she smiles. its a crack on her face, a crack inside her dragons heart.
- i will not be nice, ser jorah. theres no such thing as nice, all the nice girls go to pyre. who came back then?
she keep smiling. the saint, the madwoman, the mother of monsters, the widow of the sun.
- will you stay by my side when im not nice anymore?

drogo and i,
we were just like a killshot.
like having a throat cut.
and furious.
he taught me well, right?




can anything be enough?

"love is never enough", she says.
no, of course not.
how can love be enough if there are dedication and trust, allegiance and loyalty, tenderness and unity.
and all the other things jorah would want to give her, if only it was in his power.
no, for one love can never be enough. can anything, though?
people are greedy and their greed is just like river in spring. which means it knows no banks.
jorah himself is a very greedy man, so. he knows.

viserys was an evil man with no honor. he thought daenerys was his property and jorah was digusted to serve him. no man may treat daenerys like that.
viserys was an empty husk, trying to elliminate those who are greater than him in order to become a whole himself. he ended up just as he lived. an empty husk on the dirty floor. covered in gold at last, just as he dreamed. and jorah was glad to see his end.

"i know we shouldn't talk badly about those who are dead. but allow me to disagree with your brother, khaleesi. you fall in love with those who deserve your love".

however it be, you haven't fallen in love with me.
and you never will.

he wouldn't say anything like that to her.
jorah is very careful with what he tells her.
he remembers quite well that she is his queen to whom he pleged his weapon and his life. he would've pleged his heart to her too, if she'd only taken it.

jorah is very careful with what he tells others too. he must give away as much information as he can without harming her too much.

viserys was an evil man, but in the end of the day, is jorah any better?

to search in his heart for the place where
and he could not find it.

he looks at her, hopeless to withdraw his eyes.

what one can see in her other than a young girl? some would consider her a child. many people who've never actually met her make this mistake. jorah knows these people himself, and he prays to all the gods, the new and the old, that they will delude themselves as long as it takes daenerys to come and knock on their doors. and show what she really is.
these don't know the real daenerys targaryen.
jorah, on the other hand.
jorah likes to delude himself and tell himself pretty lies that he knows her.

he looks at his queen and sees a dragon with a golden heart. the one who is gentle and tender while also fair and unswayed. he sees her burn. and he is greatful with all his heart for letting him warm by this fire.

the great grass sea lays behind their backs, dimpled with red waves.
waves of blood, marking her path. marking his path as well.
blood of my bloodhe remembers sayinghe wants to take all the blood that will ever be on her hands, take it away.

she isn't going to be nice. nice are those, who are fearful.

"nice are those, who are fearful", he finds himself say. "you are not fearful, and you are not nice. but you are merciful and generous. you are a dragon, khaleesi, dragons aren't nice".


"and i will always be by your side, khaleesi, no matter what. as long as you'll want to have me"
[indent] (and maybe even afterwards.)

can anything be enough?
jorah doesn't know. jorah knows nothing. not how to be a good servant, not how to be a good husband. not how to be a good man either.
he's not in the position where he can ask, but at least he takes everything he's given.

daenerys gives him a look, and jorah takes it.
daenerys gives him him her gratitude, and he takes it as well.
if only he was a good man, he wouldn't take it, he would refuse, step back, walk away and never, ever come near daenerys targaryen.
but jorah is anything but a good and noble man, and all he wants, all he desires today and tonight and in all the other days and all the other nights is her makig good use of him.

her words are already more than he might ask for.

"if you'd only seen, khaleesi, what i see. this world doesn't deserve you. not me, not the people, noone here. you are yer jalan atthirari anni for all of us. maybe drogo was the first one to see it in you"

jorah thinks, no. it wasn't drogo.
it was him.
it was him who first saw and loved daenerys targaryen.

but jorah has no right, so
he remains silent.
[nick]Jorah Mormont[/nick][status]unconditionally[/status][icon][/icon][fandom]a song of ice and fire[/fandom][char] [/char][lz]i could iron out the edges of the sky but for some of us it ain't enough[/lz]

Robb Stark (2020-05-22 01:01:31)



It wouldnt be seemly to you, to skitter beneath crepe paper streamers,
the devil roiling with his blood hounds.
I am cast out, no more tabernacle. Thank you, but
I am never coming back.

they thought shes gonna crack. this poor girl, this innocent lamb. oh, shes gonna crack. this precious skull, those lovely bones.
shes gonna crack. it's gonna be loud. and they're gonna be sorry for her.
this is not what happened exactly.
shes untouched. unburnt. unbroken.
and sometimes. oh. sometimes she thinks she showed them mercy.
and the last time she cried herself to sleep was a long time ago.
in another life. where she was just a stupid kitten.
no more no less.
you were not a kitten, girl.
if you think so, you dont really pay attention.

maybe she just didnt have enough time to grow up properly.
in reality, she didnt have enough time to be a child.

shes now looking at jorah, shes serious. shes calm.
until shes not. shes quick to ask.
- do you think viserys was a bad man?
but you dont know him like i did. shes not going to look for excuses.
- he was just a boy. a scared broken boy. i was scared too, but he. he was responsible for his own fear, for my fear and this probably was too much for him. he remembered mother. and he remembered home.
and viserys would never tolerate it. men do not tolerate. do not bear anything. its women who endure.
he would never be reborn as a dragon.
- i hope hes at peace.
my son and stars crowned him with gold. but this was not my brother. i lost viserys on the day he sold that crown.
i miss him like i miss home. like i miss the childhood. like i miss all the things we never had.
- its funny how i see him in my dreams sometimes, ser jorah. and hes not the man weve seen.

daenerys is restless at night.
she keeps dreaming of the dead.
and she keeps waking up alone.
and her khal never visited her. not even once.
daenerys does terrible things. but she does them perfectly.
- youve lost things too, right? of course you did. but youve got your purpose. love wasnt enough. is this enough?
i believe it is.

daenerys takes a look at her dragons, shes giving away this little laugh, she thought she forgot how to do it, - the world doesnt know anything about dragons as it turned out. they thought our blood got weak, - she nods at her sons, they are the only ones shell ever have.
monstrosity is only born from monstrosity. she finds them magnificent.
- but this. this is not weak. this is us. being reborn. all of us.
im gonna be the monstrosity.

the monster girl, shes touching his hand gently. and his skin is dry, and only now she realizes how tired he really is.
he was tired long before he met her. her knight.
- thank you, - she says, and she says it like she means it, - ill remember this.

daenerys is trying really hard not to be bitter about it. or anything.
- the first thing drogo taught me was how to say no. to people. even to him.
and ill forever be grateful to him.
daenerys remembers their first night and the only word he knew in her language was no.
daenerys never knew, never dared, honestly, to say no to anyone.
viserys, all those people. she was this tame silent kind of girl.
he taught her just that. her no meant no to him. and therefore to everyone.
this still means the world to me.
- and we cant tell now what exactly he saw in me. hes not here to tell us.
those things were slow and animalistic, and pagan and she liked them that way.
viserys tried to scare her by the threats of the dragon's awakening.
her poor brother had no idea.
now the dragons fully awaken.

- maybe im exactly what this world deserves, ser jorah, the one who brings monsters back to the world. maybe this will remind them about humanity, huh? she doesnt believe it. not when she looks at the dragons, they are hot, they are quick to act, but they are pure. they dont know betrayal. they dont know lies. purity only. they are pure in a way she cant be anymore. she cant wash it off her, the blood, the terror, the magic and the loss.
she looks young and she looks ancient and he. oh. he was here. all the time.
- havent you seen me, though?
shes curious, she was born curious. she was curious about everything. scared, fearful, lost and homeless, still she was curious. she always asked exactly those kind of questions she wasnt supposed to ask.

maybe its exactly what the world deserves.
she used to be his moon. she used to shine in his shadow.
now hes no longer here. and shes the bleeding star. her own bleeding star. the warning, the sign and the wonder.
it could be ominous. it could be beautiful.
she repeats quietly.
- havent you seen me?


Daenerys Targaryen (2020-05-25 15:11:02)



how could i ever know you?
when everything lies in disguise

the whisper always comes out louder in the silence.
the light always comes brighter in the darkness.
miracles are the most mind-blowing if they happen in the world where people have long forgotten what it feels like to witness a miracle.
the most devoted bigots are found among the gentiles.

daenerys targaryen is all in one - the light, the whisper, the miracle, the one to believe in.

jorah doesn't only see her, he looks at her, he watches her.

"haven't you seen me?" she asks.
hasn't he seen her?

"i've seen you looking at my little sister", he hears viserys say as if he were standing right behind him. jorah fights the urge to turn around and check if he can find the elder silver-headed targaryen there. he doesn't, however, he knows, that the dead don't wake up, the dead don't walk. they can speak from the past, though, and the time - such a funny thing it is - would bring their words. make us believe the dead are right behind our backs. whispering "i've seen you looking at my little sister" in our ears.

obviously, he was looking.

he is still looking at her, and he always will - even when he's not there, even when she's far ahead, he will always look at her and he will always see her. everything she is, everything she was, everything she will ever be.

"i am not the man who can decide fates and hight others bad or good people, i have no right. but i'm saying what i saw. viserys was a scared little boy, if you wish to express it this way, but what he turned his fear into? violencenamely violence towards you, his younger sister, the second only left of his family, his closest friend and blood. is that something scared little boys do? is that something we should forgive if it's done even by a little and incredibly scared boy? it is not for me to decide, but i respect your mercy and your generosity. though you cannot change the way i think of him, forgive me that, my queen. you're wishing he's at peace, you give him forgiveness and you still love him after everything he's done to you, to other people, everything he wanted to do. that's how you are different form him. do you think, he'd do the same to you if the tables turned?"

how could i ever forget?
those eyes looking for my weal

her eyes are examining him now, seeking his weals.
jorah isn't sure she can ever see them, all his weals are hidden deep under his skin, under his flesh and under his bones.
all the scars that are visible, all one can touch are nothing compared to those he's wreaked himself.

"love can be enough and it can not be enough. you can never tell, before you try".

if he closes his eyes, he still can see lynesse. her love was enough for him, but in return when all he could have given her was love, it wasn't enough for her. it couldn't possible have been. looking at daenerys now, jorah realizes with a good streak of fear: if daenerys is closejust as she is nowif she is looking at him with her eyes and thoughts wide open when she talks to him without confinement and disengagementjust as she does nowhe might even not need love from her.
he still wants, he eagerly wants her love.
but everything he already has, everything she's already giving him is enough. (he's too scared to lose it all)

hasn't jorah seen her?

at all the times she's been looking in another direction because she didn't know him, because she could only keep her eyes on drogo, because jorah was only her servant and she is a queen. even now, in the middle of nowhere, in a deserted house in the deserted city she a queen. she is the queen for him, though. and he is watching her, he sees her. even now, when they are covered in shadows, he can see ghosts of the pyre dancing on her skin, he can see fire burning in the depth of her eyes, he can see everything she herself is missing and struggling to notice.

"i've seen monsters before, khaleesi" jorah is quick to draw nearer, to go down on his knees just near her. the closest he can getkneeled as a truthful knight of hers. "and you are everything, do you hear me, khaleesi? you are everything but a monster"

jorah is passionate and indiscreet.
jorah might regret (no. not regret. he will never regret truth told to daenerys. all he can regret are only things he does to her and doesn't do). he might as well face the consequences of his passion and devotion and frankness.
jorah cannot keep himself from telling her all the things he wanted to.

"you are the most incredible and marvelous creature (forgive me, my queen) i've ever seen in my life, and i've seen many of them. you are human, you are dragon, you are fire and blood, you are justice and grace, you are everything, all in one. i look at and i still can't believe that you are real. i remember stepping into the ashes of the pyre. everything was blackit seemed to me, the world went into mourning and coloured itself black. and then you were there, untouched, unburnt, the only light that could have been in the darkness. i've seen you, khaleesi, it was beautiful, what i've seen. i might still fail to perceive it all, but one thing i know for sure. if i had to choose, i'd choose you over everything, daenerys".

(her name escapes his lips and falls on the ground, cracks up into hundreds and thousands of shivers, glistening now in the darkness. jorah wants to collect them all and keep in a little leather bag close to his heart. her name, escaping his lips just like he always wanted it to, just like he tried, mouthing her name at night, laying without sleep)

how many times have they tried to break her,
how many times will they try again.
how many times have they tried to make a monster of her
how many times have they failed.
how many times will she rise again: untouched, unburnt, unbowed.

jorah craves to watch herfrom now on and for as long as she lets him.
jorah is desperate to watch her rise.
jorah is desperate to be there, to be closein case she'll need him.[nick]Jorah Mormont[/nick][status]unconditionally[/status][icon][/icon][fandom]a song of ice and fire[/fandom][char] [/char][lz]i could iron out the edges of the sky but for some of us it ain't enough[/lz]

Robb Stark (2020-05-27 16:57:14)



i found god in myself
& i loved her
i loved her fiercely

stay silent.
be thankful.
be thankful.
you ask too many questions. youre too nosy.
dont touch it. dont speak so loud. better dont speak at all.
you are too skinny. damn it, little sister, youre like a cow.
stay silent.
be thankful.
stay silent.
be thankful.
she has no one to be thankful to. she is not going to stay silent.
she has no gods, she has no family.
nobody but herself. it was a day just like any other in the desert. the days too hot, suffocating.
and the nights too cold, its freezing her down to the bones.
and it was hardly new, she was still. her dragons curled up near her. they are always warm.
they are her fire and they are her blood.
from that night she believed in nothing and nobody but daenerys targaryen.
im a survivor, ill outlive you all.

daenerys is still learning, and she is eager, shes curious, shes brutally greedy when it comes to knowledge. she listens.
maybe her knight could teach her something.
maybe shes doing the same to him.
- thats why, - she says, and its final. its final, - viserys is not with us today. hes got his crown. he did wrong, sir jorah, but he was the only family i had left. and the perfect example of everything a ruler shouldnt be.
she smirks, she remembers viserys as a boy, and she remembers him as a young man. sometimes she envies him. the only thing her poor brother knew was the loss. but having something. and only then loosing it.
it hurts twice as much.
so her viserys is at peace, stuck in his youth forever, shes touching viserion with her fingertips, just slightly.
- i believe he taught me well.

daenerys tried love and it proved itself wrong, or maybe she proved herself unsuitable for love.
she cant be quiet, not anymore. and how does one scream in thunder, really?
how does on scream in thunder?
- was love enough for you, sir jorah? forgive my curiosity.
shed never say drogo wasnt enough.
he was enough. he was her everything. her sun and stars.
he was enough, and maybe their love, their son, maybe this was too much for the world to take in.
fine then.
maybe she, a monster, was cursed from the very beginning.
maybe she, a queen of the desert, queen of desolation, was meant for something else entirely.
you were enough, my love. and you were right. maybe its just the time was wrong.

and only then.
only then shes finally seeing him. daenerys watches her knight, and you cant do this to me, you know? you cant do this to me.
neither could i do this to you. somehow i managed.
she inhales. the sounds too loud probably, but shes not here to make it beautiful. she had enough of covering herself and her feelings, she has enough of fake beauty.
she is a dragon. and sometimes its the last kind of beauty they saw.
- i keep trying to thank you and i keep failing, - shes placing a hand on his wrist, he looks older somehow, like the day of the pyre cost him a few years.
i cost him a few years.
we never talk about it. maybe its not the things anyone should discuss.

she stays silent for another moment, watching him.
- you shouldnt give me such a credit, ser jorah, - she shakes her head, unable to find the right words, - please, don't.
rewind a few months, and she wouldnt believe someone could look at her like that.
rewind a few moments and she was scared of this honesty.
i cant be scared.

daenerys pulls herself back together.
- well die, well die with those crazy ideas and things were not supposed to feel, you know more about it probably than me. but first well live. and hopefully first well change something about the world.
she smiles, its quick, and its rare, but she remembers now, - weve already done it.
she casts another look at him, - youve sworn to never betray me, you remember? stay by my side, i believe we can do more. i believe i still can surprise you, my knight. and i trust you to tell me about the monster if you see one.

he probably loved her too much, her knight.
for her own good.
and it wasnt her responsibility, in the slightest.
yet she remembers. she remembers the hands carried her back to life.
shes many things. first of them shes grateful.



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