| | LEVEL 2, MINISTRY OF MAGIC, WHITEHALL, LONDON, ENGLAND, GREAT BRITAIN | |
- Fuck, - his voice cracked. It was even more tired than himself. Harry spent hours checkin on lates documents, trying to figure out where he made a mistake that pissed off his superiors, but he missed the main one - the mistake was to stay far past 10pm to finish all the work. Cold coffee seemed to give him no help.
Nothing gave him the help he really needed.
He crossed Hermione in the hallway, running through people with eyes filled with panic. 'They postponed the meeting about the new law on improving life for house-elves and their ilk' she said quickly taping on his shoulder. Always busy with her high goals - Hermione felt like Harry's antonym - he felt his life going slow, like frost growing on the window. Too slow.
The time is still the same - running so fast, curling, jumping, but Harry - no, no, no ; he moves slower, he thinks slower, he makes decisions slower, until the cheif says to take their wands and go outside, giving them the address and the goal. Harry doesn't know how to live this life - there were no instructions after Hogwarts, - but he knows how to fight it. And since aurors give him the best space for it - he stays in silence surrounded by his ghosts that are less polite than Hogwart's ones.
His anxiety became a friend - the one that is here when you feel bad. And makes you feel even worse. But still - it's here. And it starts to feel like home, to smell and taste like home - Harry uses his mental health as a shield to avoid other problems. When you have enough of them, there is no enough space for the rest. And he knows it's wrong - he learnt it from over-caring Ginny's looks that she shared with him, - but he doesn't know how to do otherwise.
Students at Defense Against the Dark Arts lectures still look at him as a hero who has just destroyed a universal evil ; inspired journalists are preparing their columns for May 2 to commemorate the Battle of Hogwarts - everyone strives to interview him. Harry agrees because he wants - wants people to remember the sacrifices they had to make to win. The newspapers chant defyrambs in honor of his victory, forgetting everything he desperately said. Once he was seeking for this glory - now he is spitting it in Ministry's toilets, afraid to look at himself in the mirror and face someone who he barely knows.
| FIRST IT'S A TRAGEDY BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED. THEN IT'S A FARCE BECAUSE WE DIDN'T LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES THE FIRST TIME AROUND. |
The War is left in the history books and in quick silent glances of people who have seen it - especially those, who have touched it. Their hands are harsh, but much more eager to help others, because they know what means to think of the last sunrise that they have seen. Those who thought like that - those who are like Harry, - are mostly to be lost in their life after this war ; after all, when you know that you are ready to die, life seems like something foreign. And when you get it, you don't know what exactly to do with it.
Harry seeks some sense in his actual living and finds himself catching too many useless things.
That's why the chief said to abandon these stupid rumours about The Elder Wand - a prick on the streets of London is demanding for a duel, shouting in every corner about his magic wand that is invincible. And that's why Harry is not abandoning them at all, finding himself writing reports with his left hand and planing how he can get to this duelist with his right one.
But then he stops. He stops, because his thirst for action collides with the wall of a painful past, sending flashes of memory to his brain, which he has already tried - hundreds of times - to break inside himself. He stops, because he knows -
- Hey, Ron, - he knocks, - I need your help with the case that we discussed lately.
The lifebuoy inside this endless chess game, where he doesn't know the right rules, is the fact that Harry is not alone. He never was - maybe until his first letter in Hogwarts. He is the part of the Gold Trio - not the Gold Trio is the part of him. And even if Hermione is busy trying to make the lives of the disadvantaged to be respected, Harry knows - there is someone else, who shares the same look. Ron might have other fears crawling inside of him, but fear is fear. Past is past.
Ron is Harry's reflection. But another one - one that Harry is not afraid to look into. [nick]Harry Potter[/nick][icon]https://forumupload.ru/uploads/0019/e7/78/888/788759.png[/icon][fandom]Wizarding world[/fandom][char]гарри поттер[/char][lz]The war lasted for a long time - a very long time. I don't remember the sky, birds, or flowers. They were there, of course, but I don't remember them.[/lz]
Отредактировано Satan (2020-12-16 01:40:28)